Wednesday, February 19, 2014

It's the little things

I'm really excited to be linking up with Ashley and Jess for the little things link up. I've found so many inspiring women here on blog-land and I love getting the chance to connect with other bloggers.. but anyways, back to the point ;)

My favorite little thing that happened recently happened on a day that I thought was a really bad day. One day last week I was having one of those days, ya know? I just felt absent from the day, Avery was being especially needy and whiney- she followed me around basically all day with one particular book, and I never read it to her. When it was finally time to get ready for work I was actually happy. Even though it was work it was a break from mommy duty and was a chance to get out of the house.

Immediately after getting to work I felt guilty. I didn't spend five minutes saying goodbye to Avery like I normally did, I just waved bye and blew her a kiss from the front door while she sat on the couch watching Barney. I never read her that book she wanted me to read. I didn't spend time with her outside  that day like we always do. Once I got to work I just wanted to run home and hug my baby and cry and apologize for not being such a great mommy that day. But to make it worse- instead of getting off at 8:30 like I should have I was informed I'd be getting out late that night.

When I finally got home at 10:30 the house was quiet. When I walked in I immediately wanted to go peek on my baby and give her a kiss. First thing I saw when I opened her door was that book. The book she wanted me to read to her all day and I never took the time to just stop and read it to her. I mean it would have taken two minutes and I never took those two minutes.

I stood and stared at the book for a good solid minute and my thoughts were interrupted with a really soft sleepy voice. I look up and Avery has one sleepy eye open, as she peeks through the bars on her crib- just looking at me and smiling. She rolled onto her back, still smiling, reached her arms out and said "mama". I picked her up, she gave me a kiss and I hugged her really tight, put her back down and told her goodnight. She smiled and waved to me, still with only one eye open until I shut her door again.

Then suddenly everything I felt guilty about and all that feeling like a crappy mom went away. Because she didn't care anymore that I didn't read her the book or that I didn't take her outside or that I didn't spend five minutes telling her goodbye when I went to work. She saw me and was happy. I'm her Mama and she loves me even on my bad days, and even if I'm feeling down she is still a happy little girl.

The little things really are about getting baby snuggles really late at night after a long day, and seeing that even though I've been beating myself up all day over my mommy skills- to that little girl that calls me Mama, all that small stuff doesn't even matter! Everyone has those days. I suddenly didn't feel so guilty about mine.